Wait wait, hold up for a second, I need to get this straight.
Out of all the blogs you could have possibly read for study tips, you’re going to read mine? Out of all the other classes and all the other blogs written by incredibly studious and intelligent people, you chose this one?
You’re asking me for study tips?
Woman (or man or both or undetermined), you are crazy! Do you know how I study? Do you?!
I can barely grasp the concept of studying, let alone be able to tell other people how to do it. Therefore, I will tell all of you how I do things when it’s time to study. Now, should you decide to follow these guidelines, keep in mind I will not be held responsible for any failing test grades you may get. That, my good friend, is all on you. Unless, of course, you aren’t in school anymore. Then you can just go on with your bad self, I don’t mind. Really man, it’s cool.
Alright! Let’s get this started.
STUDY TIP #1
Never work on an assignment little by little throughout the week. Don’t even care about due dates. You see those deadlines? They mean nothing to you. That is, until it’s the day before the assignment is due. Do you know what to do then?
Shift into high gear and cram everything into one night.
Yes, that’s right. Going by my flimsy logic, in the days that you chose not to study, you got enough sleep to make up for the hours you’re going to be losing on the night before the test! Or, if it’s an assignment, you’ll work much better under the pressure. By spreading it out over the week, you might work at a relatively steady pace. But that pace is for losers who don’t know how to live. You want to be a manly man or woman who is suspiciously masculine for her gender? Wait it out.
STUDY TIP #2
Don’t eat a good breakfast. So after a full night of cramming, you finally finish up your work at around 5 A.M. You sleep for about an hour or two and it’s time to wake up again, totally wiped out and exhausted. But you know what? If you take the time needed to make a good, healthy breakfast out of your schedule, that’s like…an extra 15 minutes of sleep! So instead of taking the time to make yourself an omelet or peanut-butter and banana sandwich (which are the bomb diggity bombs, by the way), just chug down a swig of water and you’re on your way!
STUDY TIP #3
Never ask questions/never ask for help. You know, I can tell by the way you read this blog that you’re already pretty awesome (PROTIP: Reading this blog doesn’t make you anymore awesome than anyone else, but it does mean I think you’re a cool cat which should account for something). In that case, don’t ask anyone for help. I mean, how many incredibly awesome people do you know go around looking for someone to leech off of? Do you want to be manly and cool and amazing in every way? Then you need to learn to do it on your own two legs. Support is for pansies (no offense to any pansies reading this).
Other people may say that asking questions is beneficial, and that they wouldn’t think any less of you if you did, but I will. (Please don’t take that part seriously).
So there you go! Three incredibly useful study tips, all given by yours truly. Now get out there and ace that test!
Also, another picture of a cat because I like them.