This is a Post about Resolutions

Wow, a post about resolutions, huh?

Actually, I was a bit hesitant to post them on here because I thought someone would get on my case about them. Ha ha ha…

So yeah, that’s not actually the reason. I just forgot about posting and this happened.

But you know what? I actually don’t even have any real resolutions…so let’s just make some up right now. Number one, make blog posts before Sunday. That was easy.

"Welp, that's our show for tonight folks! Drive home safe!"

Ah, what’s that? I’m not allowed to finish this post so quickly? Geez, you sure do like making life hard for me disembodied voice in my head that I have conversations with. You sure do.

Righty-o, so a second one. Let’s see here…

Well, I currently have a rather intimidating pile of homework that just seems to increase in size everyday. I should probably get around to doing that before my teachers gang up on me and burn me at stake. Yes, that would be a good idea. I don’t like being burned at stake, not at all. So! Resolution number two…

…offer my homework as a sacrifice in place of me. Okay okay, bad joke, I get it. Shut up (unless you aren’t a friend of mine, in which case, I’m sorry for telling you to shut up). Resolution two, get all my homework done on time and whatnot.

Actually, that seems kind of difficult to do. So, for the final time, resolution two is changing!

Get all my homework due as fast as physically possible for myself.

As fast as physically possible for myself, symbolized.

Okay, one more resolution before I wrap this up and get to working on my neglected homework.

Um…

Wellll…

How about, “stop being obnoxious to every living being with a pulse”? Nope, that’s impossible too.

Oh oh! I got one. Resolution three, stop procrastinating…

 

 

 

…effective tomorrow. Or perhaps, the day after that. Or maybeeeee next week. Next month? Look at you, recommending dates and all. I’m proud of you. Next year it is then! Huh? That’s not the date you were thinking of? Oh yes. I remember now. Two years, correct? Wonderful! It’s settled! Three years.

Nice working with you, sir or ma’am.

Hmm...I'll think of a caption for this later, too.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “This is a Post about Resolutions

  1. Lets try that again (it posted the comment before i was done)

    Dear Marri,
    Your blog is absolutly HILARIOUS and i love reading it. Please grow up and just become a porfessional blogger!

    Love Your Math Buddy
    Amber 🙂

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